What I’ve Learned (Or Ten Steps to Success in Life)

I am reposting this from Myspace. It’s the first thing I ever blogged.

I thought I’d give this blogging thing a try since I’ve got much more to say than people who will listen. For at least the last five minutes, I’ve pondered where I should begin. Should it be my humble beginnings in a log cabin in Illinois? My role in the invention of the vacuum tube? My part-time job as life coach to the Pope? No. All way too boring.

Instead I’m going to give you a quick view of how I see the world. That’s right, I’m talkin’ a taste of my famous bar room philosophy. I’ve distilled it (Distilled. Bar room. Get it???) to ten statements. These are principles to live by. It’s taken me a lifetime to develop this blueprint for success. Nevertheless you–the bored, no doubt unemployed, websurfing neer-do-well friend of mine–will get it for nada. Few other people would do that for you. Yes, the words “kind” and “generous” do come to mind. But tell me something about me that I don’t know. Now, with these life lessons/keys to success, you too can be like me!Here they are:

1. Be yourself. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Be true to yourself.

2. If you want something in life, go for it. If it takes a fake I.D. and a padded resume’ so be it. Later, when you’ve realized your dreams, you can be idealistic.

3. Many people accept their fate and give up on trying to improve their lot in life. All it takes to change is desire, vision and effort. Nothing in life is permanent. Except birth defects. And death, of course. And tatooes. And super glue. And pregnancy to a degree. And oftentimes many forms of STDs.

4. It is easy to stand with the crowd. It takes courage to stand alone. A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child. Or to help a drunk who happens to be laying in the street.

5. The man who fails to plan, plans to fail. Okay, we’re up to number 6. Half way home! Trust me, it only gets better from here. Remember these were culled from all my wisdom and experience. Yep, had to do lots of editing to get it down to just ten. No. 6 up next. Here we go.

6. I like big butts. I cannot lie.

Alright already, dammit!! So what if I only have 5 life lessons/keys to success! The ones I have are pretty dang good. Plus they were free so stop ur bitchin’.


~ by Tim Daniel on April 20, 2007.

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